Ängel

"Så kom änglar och ta mig till henne
och ge mig en chans
för jag tror att snart brinner ett hjärta för henne
nån annanstans."

"När du har varit i alla vrår
och testat allt som går och
när du tröttnat
Kom ihåg mig då"

-Lasse

Another reflection

My greatest struggle right now is to try to cut off the wings of an angel. A sweet and beautiful angel, but she is out of my reach. How do one do to cut off an angel's wings?

This is the only way for me to get me out the mess that I am in right now. I need to cut her wings, so that she will start walking among the rest of us on mother earth, instead of flying in my pink- blue sky.

In my eyes she stills have a halo hovering over her pretty head. As long as she still has it left I am blinded by her light, glowing around her. I can see and think of no one else…

I wish I could cut her wings…

”Vi ska bada i det ljus som bara vi kan se
Två lyckliga dårar som tror sig veta hur allt är
Vi ska bada i det ljus som lyser för oss två
Vi ska skratta åt små ting ingen annan skrattar åt”

Två lyckliga dårar – Lisa Ekdahl

Reflections

Sometimes I get very childish, I know and if I do not comprehend I fortunately have friends around me that enlighten me. I try to work my way around my childish emotions, but sometimes it is hard for me to master my own feelings.

I very easily, in fact almost by default, play the roll of the victim if something does not goes my way, you see things usually do, some way or the other. I play this roll without great considerations or thought, especially among those how are close to me. I just simply react and let my feelings take the upper hand. It took me a four year long serious relationship to figure this one out and still I needed it to be told directly to my face.

Fortunately I consider myself to have rather short memory on this sort of thing and usually these things pass me rather fast. And this last time I actually got more irritated on myself being irritated then on the issue. This last issue was so much about the thing itself; instead it was about expectations that were not fulfilled -the whole thing turned out to something else then I first thought to be, something else then what I had been looking forward to...

Interesting what changes in expectations can do to you…

Comeback

"Jag har nog lärt mig att gå hem
På alla sätt, från alla ställen
ensam bortåt vägen
Jag har en trogen gammal vän
som väntar mig om kvällen
som ställer upp i alla lägen

Som en apa på min rygg
som ett spöke i min hjärna
som jag aldrig riktigt kommer undan


Du har så underbara ord
Du kan le så att jag smälter
Du kan ge så jag tar åt mig
Jag skulle gärna ha ditt mod
Jag skulle gärna ha din kärlek"

Lasse